Beautiful, comforting piece. I lost both of my parents I. The last fifteen months. They were old, so it’s the kind of grief one would expect. Classic Grief. Yet… the loss of my dad at 91 last April (he was the first to go) is hitting me harder now that my mom is also gone. My son is alive and well, but in the military living across the country and I worry about losing him. I also miss him dearly. I’m trying to hold on to gratitude —for having my parents these 60 years of my life, for the gift of my son, for the good life I have. I appreciate you sharing with such vulnerability. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Thanks, Lynn, and mine to you. These losses of beloved loved ones are never easy. And the worry for your son is a very real grief as well. Being here for each other is everything. 🩷
You’re truly becoming an expert, a curator, and a sage on grief, before our eyes, one post at a time. Wonderful to hear you are now a trained grief coach, spreading your light and hard, hard earned wisdom to even more people.
Sarah, this means so much to me. It's exactly what I'd hope for, to be a resource—not as an expert but as someone who's lived through a few things and found my way back to the light, while never looking away from the grief that's with me always. xo
65 years after my father’s suicide, with encouragement from my memoir buddies, a commitment to tell my truth, and a desire to be truly known by my three adult daughters and five grandchildren, I am finally able to not only write about life with my bipolar father, anxious, angry mother, and adopted, ignored and brave brother, but talk about my early life with them. Thank you, Casey, for showing the way to “living our truth” bravely and openly, no matter how grief-riddled and confusing for our young hearts and minds.
Wow, this touches me, Stephanie. I love hearing about your stepping into telling your own truth. We need all of our stories, and someone out there absolutely needs yours. Cheering you on.
Thank you for this beautiful post. I've been thinking a lot about cumulative grief myself lately. What I've been thinking about is that the world is such a tumultuous place the last few years that many of us are suffering from cumulative grief. We are grieving the life we had before the pandemic, on top of whatever other more recognized losses we might have suffered.
I was thinking the same thing, and how for me that has been compounded by losing several friends and family members over the last 6 years. It is a lot.
IDK why notes gets all weird about replies sticking with the comment you’re replying to…
At any rate, I hear you Doreen. There’s enough grief to go around these days, and sometimes it feels as if we’re directly in the crosshairs. The times we’re living in aren’t helping, either. This is why we need to be there for each other.
Absolutely, and I'm grateful to connect with others who are experiencing the same things. It is easy to feel like we are isolated in our grief because folks don't like to talk about it !!
You're so right, Elizabeth. What a difficult time we're living through, and sometimes I worry we've become a little desensitized. But these repeated hits live in our bodies, and yes, accumulate they do. Grieving our pre-pandemic life rings true for me, as I know it does for so many. Maybe, besides being a hidden grief, it's sometimes disenfranchised too, which only compounds our struggle. Talking about these things is so important for all of us.
I lost my mom at the end of 2019 and thought I'd grieved plenty in advance during her years long loss by dementia. I cried for a few months and then moved on. But when my 13 year old dog died 4 years later, I was floored by grief and I knew it was much more than losing my beloved fur kid. It was grief for losing another connection to my mom who'd loved her granddogger and also with my only tie to mothering another being.
This sounds so familiar, Jennifer, and I'm so sorry about both of these losses. That flood of outsized emotion is a sure sign there's more underneath, as you so clearly understood. Thanks for sharing this. xo
Beautifully written. I had never heard the term "cumulative grief" before, but I have lived it. My mom, my dad, my younger brother, my best friend, all within a ten-year span. Thank you for writing about this important topic.
Isn't it a gift to finally have words for something we've felt but couldn't put a name to? I'm happy to have offered some language here and am grateful for your reading and taking the time to comment.
Beautiful, comforting piece. I lost both of my parents I. The last fifteen months. They were old, so it’s the kind of grief one would expect. Classic Grief. Yet… the loss of my dad at 91 last April (he was the first to go) is hitting me harder now that my mom is also gone. My son is alive and well, but in the military living across the country and I worry about losing him. I also miss him dearly. I’m trying to hold on to gratitude —for having my parents these 60 years of my life, for the gift of my son, for the good life I have. I appreciate you sharing with such vulnerability. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Thanks, Lynn, and mine to you. These losses of beloved loved ones are never easy. And the worry for your son is a very real grief as well. Being here for each other is everything. 🩷
So so true, Casey. 🙏
You’re truly becoming an expert, a curator, and a sage on grief, before our eyes, one post at a time. Wonderful to hear you are now a trained grief coach, spreading your light and hard, hard earned wisdom to even more people.
Sarah, this means so much to me. It's exactly what I'd hope for, to be a resource—not as an expert but as someone who's lived through a few things and found my way back to the light, while never looking away from the grief that's with me always. xo
You are the brightest light.
Ditto, my friend! 🩷
65 years after my father’s suicide, with encouragement from my memoir buddies, a commitment to tell my truth, and a desire to be truly known by my three adult daughters and five grandchildren, I am finally able to not only write about life with my bipolar father, anxious, angry mother, and adopted, ignored and brave brother, but talk about my early life with them. Thank you, Casey, for showing the way to “living our truth” bravely and openly, no matter how grief-riddled and confusing for our young hearts and minds.
Wow, this touches me, Stephanie. I love hearing about your stepping into telling your own truth. We need all of our stories, and someone out there absolutely needs yours. Cheering you on.
Thank you for this beautiful post. I've been thinking a lot about cumulative grief myself lately. What I've been thinking about is that the world is such a tumultuous place the last few years that many of us are suffering from cumulative grief. We are grieving the life we had before the pandemic, on top of whatever other more recognized losses we might have suffered.
I was thinking the same thing, and how for me that has been compounded by losing several friends and family members over the last 6 years. It is a lot.
IDK why notes gets all weird about replies sticking with the comment you’re replying to…
At any rate, I hear you Doreen. There’s enough grief to go around these days, and sometimes it feels as if we’re directly in the crosshairs. The times we’re living in aren’t helping, either. This is why we need to be there for each other.
Absolutely, and I'm grateful to connect with others who are experiencing the same things. It is easy to feel like we are isolated in our grief because folks don't like to talk about it !!
You're so right, Elizabeth. What a difficult time we're living through, and sometimes I worry we've become a little desensitized. But these repeated hits live in our bodies, and yes, accumulate they do. Grieving our pre-pandemic life rings true for me, as I know it does for so many. Maybe, besides being a hidden grief, it's sometimes disenfranchised too, which only compounds our struggle. Talking about these things is so important for all of us.
I lost my mom at the end of 2019 and thought I'd grieved plenty in advance during her years long loss by dementia. I cried for a few months and then moved on. But when my 13 year old dog died 4 years later, I was floored by grief and I knew it was much more than losing my beloved fur kid. It was grief for losing another connection to my mom who'd loved her granddogger and also with my only tie to mothering another being.
This sounds so familiar, Jennifer, and I'm so sorry about both of these losses. That flood of outsized emotion is a sure sign there's more underneath, as you so clearly understood. Thanks for sharing this. xo
Beautifully written. I had never heard the term "cumulative grief" before, but I have lived it. My mom, my dad, my younger brother, my best friend, all within a ten-year span. Thank you for writing about this important topic.
Isn't it a gift to finally have words for something we've felt but couldn't put a name to? I'm happy to have offered some language here and am grateful for your reading and taking the time to comment.