Creation as an Act of Defiance (and I've got news!)

My new monthly newsletter, and exciting news. Also: real talk about grief and joy, navigating the in-between, and finding inspiration all around us. And writing. Always, writing.

Feb 19, 2024

Welcome to my new Substack! I’m so happy you’re here. These mostly monthly posts will bring some combination of the following::

*News of the Day ~ topics that have caught my interest, often relating to grief and resilience and navigating the ever-present in-between, updates on the book, and other writing news

*Looking Back to Look Ahead ~ a reprise of an old piece, a new look at an old topic I've previously explored, or a revisit to an idea that's meant a lot to me

*Inspiration Everywhere ~ so many wonderful writers and books, artists and musicians and chefs, thinkers and creators inspire me

*Wanderlust and Reverie ~ photos from our travels or an occasional flashback to long-ago times, the people and places and experiences that have shaped and enriched me.

So let’s get started.

News of the Day

I won’t bury the lede:

My memoir, The Full Catastrophe: All I Ever Wanted, Everything I Feared, about finding meaning in the wake of repeated loss, learning to live with grief beside joy, and understanding what true belonging really means, is forthcoming from Motina Books—a wonderful small press—ONE YEAR FROM TODAY!
That would be February 18, 2025.
Mark your calendars!

I couldn’t be happier to be working with Diane Windsor, the woman at the helm of Motina Books. She’s truly a partner with her authors, and after the grueling process of finding a publisher, it’s such a breath of fresh air to have someone so clearly on my side.

There will be more news to come—a book cover reveal, a call for launch team members, and so much more, but for now, I’m grateful for those who are celebrating alongside me. I look forward to all there is to do in the next year and the connections waiting to be made.

In other news, I was honored to be invited by Morgan Baker (a wonderful writer and author of Emptying the Nest, Getting Better at Goodbyes…check it out!) to visit her creative writing class at Emerson College to discuss writing microflash. Though I’ve written much longer pieces, these days the draw of tiny stories (100-500-ish words) has been strong, and it was a delight to share this form with her students.

And in an interesting juxtaposition, next week I’ll visit my youngest grandson’s preschool class to discuss publishing a book (their year-long project) and help them write their own “about the author” page for their story about a tissue named Snort. Could they be any cuter?

Inspiration Everywhere

This short video about Nick Cave, who lost his son Arthur suddenly at fifteen, then an older son, Jethro, at thirty-one, sent me down a literary and musical rabbit hole. He speaks with Anthony Mason of how creating—his music, his art, and now his book, Faith, Hope, and Carnage—was for him an act of defiance in the face of loss.

“These deaths make you love people and humanity and value people and understand the fragile nature of people. It’s made me…love the world now.”

I’m especially fascinated by the ways Cave says “creation became an act of defiance” for him.

“I could feel it literally rushing through my body and bursting out through the ends of my fingers…a kind of annihilation of the self, an interior screaming.”

Oh, yes. This. So of my own writing has come from a visceral need to get the words out of my heart and head and onto the paper (okay, the screen). I wrote so that others could find community around their own losses, yes. But if I’m honest, it’s often felt as if those around me weren’t open to hearing about my grief. About the ones I loved who were no longer here. People they would never know. Unless I told their stories. My story.

In the depths of grief, Cave started The Red Hand Files, where he writes and answers questions from his fans about topics ranging from the playful to the profound, in what he terms “a strange exercise in communal vulnerability and transparency.”

So much of his strength in the face of grief, he explains, has come from others who have been through it. This resonates so deeply for me.

Learning about these losses, the worst one-two punch a parent can imagine, and the ways Cave has found to find meaning, to comfort others, and to embrace life in spite of—or maybe because of—such tragedy made me appreciate his music, and now his writing, even more.

“The sense of loss makes us the soulful people we can be that we are not when we’re young.”

His album Ghosteen, recorded with his band The Bad Seeds, was inspired by the spirit of his son. I’ve been playing this on repeat, and “Ghosteen Speaks” will surely find a spot on my Have a Good Cry playlist (it’s quite possible many of us would benefit from having one of these).

Cave describes grief as “a great big, swirling, confusing thing.”

I couldn’t imagine a more apt characterization of a human experience that defies description. I’m grateful for his words, his music, and the humanity he shares so freely in his work.

Share Embracing the Full Catastrophe

Wanderlust!

And before I go, here’s a quick look at our Scandinavian adventures last August and September. When my husband Kevin and I are asked about which of our trips has been our favorite, the answer always seems to be the last place we explored. No different this time around. Stockholm, Talinn, Helsinki, Bergen, Oslo, Copenhagen, and beyond absolutely did not disappoint.